It’s Time to Say Goodbye: 5 Things Every Couple Needs to Know About Divorce
Are you preparing to separate from your partner? There are a few things you need to know.
When you got married, you were probably in love and you probably thought that your relationship would last forever. Unfortunately, even good marriages may eventually come to an end. If you and your partner have chosen to go your separate ways, it’s important to prepare as much as possible before you begin the divorce process. An experienced family law attorney will be a valuable asset to you during this time; however, before you meet with your lawyer, there are a few things you should keep in mind regarding divorce.
1. Divorce takes time.
No divorce happens overnight. While it would be nice to be able to simply sign a piece of paper and walk away once you’ve chosen to separate, it may take awhile to finalize the separation. This is because your lives are so interwoven that separating them will take time. You and your partner will not only need to complete divorce paperwork and agree on custody arrangements, but you’ll need to separate every aspect of your lives from your furniture to your bank accounts.
2. Your kids may be frustrated or angry.
Your kids didn’t choose for you to get divorced. They may feel out of control, scared, or sad during this time. It’s important that both you and your partner reach out to your kids regularly and talk with them about the divorce. Remind them that you both love them. Talk with them about how you can help them. Focus on spending time together as a family. Try to keep things as normal as possible and to minimize the changes your kids experience.
3. Communication is essential.
You and your partner may not be on speaking terms, but communication is vital during the divorce process. Your family attorney is not a mind reader and neither is your partner. You’ll all need to discuss how you want to move forward. For example, do you want to receive alimony? Do you want to keep the extra vehicle you share? Do you want to divide your DVD collection? Who gets the pets? Open, honest, and thoughtful communication is very important during this time.
4. Making decisions can be overwhelming.
You might be surprised at just how many decisions you have to make during a divorce. In fact, you may experience decision fatigue due to the sheer number of choices you have to make. Some of these choices will be difficult, like “Where will the kids live?” Other choices will be more mundane, such as “Who gets the bookshelf in the basement?” Unfortunately, making large amounts of decisions is part of the divorce process. Both you and your partner will need to communicate and make choices in order to move forward. Avoiding decisions will simply prolong the divorce.
5. Counseling can help.
In some cases, divorce may simply be too much to handle on your own, and that’s okay. An experienced family counselor can help offer you guidance and suggestions during this time. Don’t be afraid to schedule a mental health checkup during this time or to meet with a divorce counselor who can help you deal with your emotions, frustrations, and anxiety.
When you’re ready to separate from your partner, visit your family law attorney for guidance moving forward. Call to schedule a consultation today.