You probably know that there are a few big signals that a marriage is in trouble — if not already over. They’re things like a lack of intimacy, stonewalling, showing contempt for your spouse and generally starting to lead separate lives.
There are other signs, however, that a marriage is in trouble that may get overlooked. If you have found yourself facing any of the following issues in your marriage, it may be time to take a harder look at the health of your relationship:
- You feel that your spouse is controlling you. Maybe you don’t feel free to buy so much as an extra coffee without asking — or maybe it’s more subtle than that. Either way, you feel a bit like a bird in a cage longing to get free — even if you aren’t exactly sure what that means.
- You’re lonely. Your spouse should be the person cheering you on, congratulating you on your successes and encouraging your new endeavors. If your spouse barely seems aware of what you’re doing and you’re constantly seeking validation elsewhere, that’s a big problem.
- Your emotional needs are being met by someone else. Maybe you have a “work spouse.” Maybe you just have online friends that you’d rather turn to for comfort, conversation or support. Either way, you may be guilty of emotional infidelity — and that’s something that tends to happen when a spouse isn’t really there for you.
- You feel like your spouse keeps score. Maybe your spouse feels like it’s necessary to bring up every mistake you’ve ever made each time you argue. Maybe they keep negatively comparing who you are now to who you were when you first got married. If you don’t have the room to change, grow and heal from past issues, that can leave you feeling trapped and drained.
If divorce seems to be on the horizon, don’t ignore your gut instincts. Take steps today to learn more about your legal rights and the divorce process.