Photo of Mysti Murphy

Standing Strong for Your Rights

Spoiling your kids could look like manipulation

On Behalf of | Sep 27, 2021 | Child Custody

There is often talk about parents who manipulate their children after a divorce. The parents may get the children to agree to live with them by giving them something they want or to say negative things about the other parent because of promises of going on vacation or getting a toy. What isn’t discussed quite as often is how spoiling your children could make you look like you’re brainwashing or manipulating them to want to be with you even when that’s not your intention.

As a parent, it’s important for you to realize how your actions may influence your children and their relationship with the other parent. Here are a few things to consider about keeping your relationships level and balanced.

Children can be influenced by money and assets

One of the things to remember is that children, especially younger kids, may be influenced by being able to get more things or to buy whatever they want with one parent compared to living with one who simply can’t afford to dote on them in that way. If your ex-spouse has raised concerns that your children don’t want to go to their home or lash out because they can’t get something new during each visit, then consider discussing a way to address this. This may include sitting down with your children and expressing your dissatisfaction with their actions or limiting what you purchase for them to make things more equal.

Children may lash out when parenting styles differ

Parenting styles differ. You should both sit down and discuss what is reasonable, such as how much to spend on your children during outings or shopping trips, so that you can be on the same page.

While both parents have a right to raise their children how they see fit, the reality is that a discrepancy between the benefits and amenities of each home can make children lean toward staying with the parent who gives them what they want. It’s necessary to address this in a way that shows you’re willing to encourage custody and support the other parent being an active part in your children’s lives. Avoid disparaging the other parent or speaking negatively about their financial situation, because doing that could appear manipulative and influence your custody case in the future.