Some people will wait until their children head off to college to think about divorce. Others, concerned about affording college for their kids, may wait even longer.
Some people considering a gray divorce have wanted their independence for years but stayed married out of consideration for their children. It’s important for these adults to understand that significant emotional fallout will likely still occur even if their children are adults at the time of their divorce.
Adult children may have intent reactions to a parental divorce
You might assume that waiting to file for divorce until your children are grown would mean that your children handle the news better than they would have while young. However, adult children may be more likely to “take a side” in the divorce than adolescents or young children. That alone can intensify the family drama.
The reason for this is simple: Children often feel insecure about what will happen with their relationship with their parents after divorce in part because they are still dependent on their parents for everything. Adult children, on the other hand, are free to express themselves and possibly take sides.
Adult children might refuse to see the parent who filed for divorce or hold a grudge against one of their parents for years because of a divorce. Recognizing the trauma of divorce for your children can help you handle the issue better.
Talking with your children about an upcoming gray divorce won’t be easy. However, when you understand the way it may impact your children, you may do a better job of approaching this difficult topic. Recognizing that social issues can become more complex in gray divorces, just like financial issues, can help you better handle complications as they arise.