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Standing Strong for Your Rights

2 tips for talking with your children about your divorce

On Behalf of | Mar 10, 2023 | Divorce

Aside from you, your children will be the people most affected by your divorce. Hence it is only fair that they are among the first to know that you’ve made the decision to end your marriage.

Breaking the news will obviously be traumatic for them, so take some time beforehand to consider how you will approach the situation.

Remember, it is a conversation, not a presidential address

You cannot say your piece and then think that the “conversation” is over. You can’t limit the number of questions you’ll take, either. Your kids will likely have many things they want to ask over the next few hours, days, weeks and months.

In the same way that your kids’ questions will be ongoing, your answers may also need to be so. You might need to add detail about certain topics gradually, depending on the nature of the situation.

Tell them the truth, but not all of it

There’s little point in pretending that everything is fine or that everything will be the same as before because it isn’t, and it won’t. Telling them little white lies about how “Mommy and Daddy still love each other very much” won’t wash if the kids have overheard your heated arguments when they go to bed each night or seen the horrible looks you give each other over the dining table.

That does not mean you should tell them why you were arguing. Some details are not for sharing with your kids, especially if they paint your spouse in a bad light. In a situation like that, it may be simpler to explain that you no longer get on and you no longer want to live together.

Don’t be afraid to tell them that the next few months will be difficult or that there will be changes, but also highlight the things that will stay the same. For example, you both still love them, and they will still get to see Granny and their friends at school, etc.

Finding out more about divorce can help you to formulate the answers you’ll need to address your children’s questions.